# CASA ROSALIA
## Pilot Episode: "The Million Dollar Mess"

**Format:** Single-camera comedy with mockumentary confessionals
**Runtime:** 22 minutes (half-hour with commercials)
**Rating:** TV-PG — family friendly, broad appeal
**Setting:** Newark & the surrounding North Jersey luxury market
**DNA:** I Love Lucy (physical comedy) + Modern Family (ensemble mockumentary) + Golden Girls (multigenerational women, kitchen-table wisdom)

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## LOGLINE

When top-producing real estate agent Vivi Rosalia-Callahan finally lands the biggest listing of her career, she has 48 hours to stage a $4.2 million mansion — while her Colombian mother hijacks the kitchen for a quinceañera rehearsal, her teenage daughter livestreams the whole disaster, and her contractor husband accidentally demolishes the wrong wall.

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## COLD OPEN (0:00 – 2:00)

**INT. LUXURY OPEN HOUSE — DAY**

Vivi, in a red power dress and Louboutins, glides through a marble foyer greeting buyers like a Colombian Oprah. Confidence turned up to eleven.

**VIVI (to camera):** "In real estate, you are selling a dream. And nobody — *nobody* — sells a dream like Vivi Rosalia."

She air-kisses a couple, refills champagne, name-drops the school district in flawless Spanglish. Then — the sound of shattering glass from the kitchen.

She freezes. Turns to camera.

**VIVI:** "That was not part of the dream."

CUT TO: Her mentee **BRODY** (the himbo junior agent) standing in the kitchen, holding half a broken chandelier, looking guilty.

**BRODY:** "It was already like this."

**VIVI:** "Brody, it was hanging from the ceiling twelve seconds ago."

**SMASH TO TITLE CARD: CASA ROSALIA**

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## ACT ONE (2:00 – 7:30)

### Scene 1 — The Brokerage
**Kim Realty Group offices, Newark.** Vivi struts in triumphant — she's just closed the chandelier house at asking price. High fives all around. Her rival **CARLA** slow-claps with venom.

**MR. KIM** (deadpan Korean-American broker, one bad quarter from a breakdown) pulls Vivi aside. He has *the* listing. A $4.2 million new-construction mansion in Short Hills. The seller is a picky European investor. Whoever lands it locks in Agent of the Year.

He's giving it to Vivi. On one condition: the seller wants it staged, photographed, and open-housed **in 48 hours** before he flies back to Milan.

Vivi promises the moon.

### Scene 2 — The Callahan House
**Chaotic warm family kitchen.** Vivi bursts in announcing the win.

- **DANNY** (Irish-American contractor husband) is fixing a leaky sink and offers to help stage the house — he can do the finish carpentry for free.
- **MAMA ELENA** is making arepas and casually mentions she's hosting **Tía Rosa's granddaughter's quinceañera rehearsal dinner** this weekend. Vivi forgot she said yes six months ago.
- **TÍA ROSA** — Elena's glamorous older sister, in full leopard print at 9am — is at the kitchen table doing her nails and offering unsolicited romantic advice to Sofia.
- **MISS RUTH** — Danny's Irish-Catholic mother — walks in with a cheesecake she "just happened to bring" (she has brought one every day this week). Deadpans: "You people talk loud."
- **SOFIA (16)** is filming everything for TikTok. "Mom, this is *content.*"
- **MATEO (10)** is quietly playing poker with Miss Ruth at the counter.

Vivi confessional to camera: "I can do both. I am a Colombian woman. We invented multitasking. We invented the *concept* of Tuesday."

### Scene 3 — The Mansion Walkthrough
Vivi, Danny, Brody, and Carla (who has invited herself) tour the empty mansion. It's stunning. Marble, chef's kitchen, infinity pool.

**Carla:** "Cute little starter home."

The European seller, **MR. VOSS**, video-calls in from Milan. He is icy, precise. He wants "understated elegance." He wants "no chaos." He repeats "no chaos" three times.

Vivi promises no chaos.

**ACT BREAK:** Vivi's phone buzzes. Mama Elena has texted a photo of forty folding chairs being unloaded — at the mansion. "For rehearsal, mija. Bigger house, more room."

Vivi: "Ay dios mío."

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## ACT TWO (7:30 – 15:00)

### Scene 4 — The Setup Spirals
**48 hours to open house.** Split-screen montage:

- **Danny** starts finish work on the powder room. He mixes up the blueprints and starts knocking down a load-bearing wall in the wrong room.
- **Mama Elena** installs a piñata in the great room. She's brought her mariachi cousin Hector to "test the acoustics."
- **Sofia** livestreams the whole thing captioned "MY MOM IS LOSING IT."
- **Brody** is supposed to be picking up staging furniture. He picks up the wrong truck. It's full of taxidermy.
- **Carla** shows up "just to help" and is clearly documenting evidence for Mr. Kim.

Vivi juggles all of it on her AirPods while trying to send Mr. Voss "understated elegance" photos.

### Scene 5 — The Lucy Set Piece (The heart of the episode)
Mr. Voss announces he's flying in *early* and will drop by in **one hour** — not tomorrow. Vivi has:

- A hole in the wall (Danny)
- A piñata full of candy (Mama Elena)
- A stuffed elk in the foyer (Brody)
- A teenage influencer livestreaming to 40,000 people (Sofia)
- A rival documenting everything (Carla)

CLASSIC LUCY-STYLE SEQUENCE: Vivi choreographs a frantic cover-up. She hides the elk in a coat closet. She stuffs the piñata under a chaise. She drapes a tapestry over the wall hole. She bribes Sofia with a new iPhone to stop filming. She locks Mama Elena in the pantry with a plate of arepas.

Danny, trying to help, sits on the chaise. The piñata explodes candy across the marble floor just as the doorbell rings.

### Scene 6 — Mr. Voss Arrives
Vivi opens the door. Composure restored. Charm at maximum.

Voss walks in. Silence. He looks at the candy. The tapestry. Mateo, who has quietly emerged, is sitting on the elk in the closet reading his book.

**VOSS:** "What is this?"

Vivi, thinking fast: "This is... a *cultural staging.* Buyers today want *lived-in luxury.* They want to *feel* a home."

**ACT BREAK:** Voss narrows his eyes. Long beat. Then: "Fascinating. Show me more."

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## ACT THREE (15:00 – 21:00)

### Scene 7 — Vivi Doubles Down
Vivi commits to the bit. She "tours" Voss through the fake cultural staging. Mama Elena — released from the pantry — improvises a story about the piñata being a "Latin American housewarming tradition passed down for generations." (It is not.)

Hector the cousin starts playing gentle guitar. Mateo explains, deadpan, that the elk is "a nod to Newark's hunting heritage." (Newark has no hunting heritage.)

Voss is enchanted. This is exactly the kind of story he can tell his buyers in Milan. "Authenticity! Character! This is what Americans forget!"

### Scene 8 — Carla Sabotages
Carla, seeing her loss coming, "accidentally" drops photos of the demolition-wall in front of Voss.

Voss's face darkens. "There is a hole?"

Beat.

Danny steps up, covered in drywall dust: "Sir. I built this wall. And I can tell you — the wall was wrong. Any real Jersey guy sees this floor plan, he knows. That wall was an insult to the flow of the house. I removed it as a gift. To you."

Voss stares. Then, slowly, nods. "Yes. Yes, the flow is now correct."

### Scene 9 — The Close
Voss signs the listing agreement. Vivi keeps her composure until he leaves, then screams into a pillow. The whole family celebrates in the great room. Sofia's livestream has 200,000 viewers and #CasaRosalia is trending. Brody has fallen asleep on the elk.

**Mr. Kim** calls: the *livestream* has generated seven qualified buyer inquiries. Vivi is a genius.

Vivi (confessional): "I did not plan any of that. But if anyone asks — I planned all of that."

### Tag (21:00 – 22:00)
**KITCHEN TABLE, LATER THAT NIGHT.** The three grandmothers — Elena, Rosa, and Ruth — sit around Ruth's cheesecake dissecting the day.

**ELENA:** "My daughter is going to give herself a heart attack."
**ROSA:** "Your daughter is going to buy Newark."
**RUTH:** (sipping whiskey) "Both can be true."

Danny hands Vivi a glass of wine. Mateo is quietly researching how much a real taxidermied elk costs.

Sofia bursts in: "Mom, three brands want to sponsor us. What are we?"

Vivi looks at the camera. Wicked grin.

**VIVI:** "Mija — we are Casa Rosalia."

The three grandmothers, in perfect unison from the kitchen table: "In our day..."

All three, together: "...oh, here we go."

**CUT TO BLACK.**

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## PILOT THEMES SET UP

- **Family as chaos AND advantage** — the same people making her life hard are the ones who save the day
- **Cultural pride as a superpower** — Vivi's Colombian heritage is her differentiator, not her obstacle
- **Ambition vs. presence** — Vivi's real journey is learning to enjoy the wins, not just chase the next one
- **The Rosalia empire** — the tag sets up the show's spine: this family accidentally became a brand

## RECURRING RUNNERS PLANTED

- Vivi vs. Carla rivalry (season-long)
- Brody's slow-motion competence arc
- Mr. Kim's mental health decline (running gag)
- Sofia's TikTok fame growing beyond the family's control
- Mateo secretly being the smartest person in every room
- Mama Elena's ever-expanding household empire